An excerpt from The Graduate’s Guide to Money
You began learning about your world subconsciously as a child. A lot of your money experiences and feelings came from childhood experiences, but your money story is shaped every time you have an experience with money. When you delve into your gut reaction—that feeling in your belly—you access the subconscious impressions of money that you picked up without even realizing you were picking them up. Maybe you asked questions and got snapped at or ridiculed by an adult. Maybe adults taught you about money in a nurturing way. There is a big difference between those two experiences that could have a huge impact on your money story. The bottom line:
- It matters whether your parents fought about money or projected confidence and tranquility around money.
- It matters if they complained about how hard money was to get or communicated the idea of abundance.
- It matters if money was very tight or was plentiful.
- It matters if people praised your ability to accumulate and manage money or criticized your efforts.
- It matters if money was discussed openly in your household or was a taboo subject.
Your every interaction with money matters as all of your past experiences have combined to form your unique money story. By thinking about your emotions regarding money, and what memories you have of money, you can consciously evaluate your money story and decide if it is a love story or a tragedy (or maybe a comedy).
The great news is that you can change your story. You can unilaterally expel bad perceptions about money and bring in new good facts and expectations. You can understand and forgive your parents if they were dolts about money and saddled you with ridiculous notions about it. You can bring some of your perceptions out of the dark and into the light to evaluate them rationally and decide as an adult if that perception is reality and if it is serving you well or driving you into a ditch.
Money Story
All of your ideas, feelings, beliefs, history, impressions,
perceptions, experience, and learned information about money,
its place in your life, and how it works in the world
whether conscious or unconscious.
There is a three step process for understanding your money story:
- Excavate your money memories and discover what beliefs those memories have created.
- Question the beliefs associated with thosememories
- Identify better beliefs.
Chapter 2 of the book dives into this process in much greater detail so check out that if you have the book. If you don’t, sit down with a blank piece of paper and start jotting down memories of money encounters. Ask yourself what you believe about money and your ability to earn it, manage it, use it wisely, and accumulate it. Think about your feelings around money and money matters and try to remember the events that created those feelings. What beliefs are underlying those feelings? [Side note: If you have abuse or significant trauma in your past or if you feel overwhelmed by your emotions around this or any other topic, I encourage you to seek the guidance of a mental health professional before poking around your past.]
Do the work. Answer the questions. Ponder your beliefs and commit to creating a better, bolder, more empowering money story today.
Also, take a look at my events page (Upcoming Events) and see if there is a webinar or live event that you may be able to attend. I love helping people understand their money stories and to create better stories so I hope to see you (or hear you) at an event soon. Let me know how it is going! I’d love to hear your comments on this process.
To your financial success!
Other great books on beliefs:
The Power of Perception, by Hyrum Smith (link takes you to his website – it’s ALL fantastic!)
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, by Debbie Ford (link takes you to her website – it’s all fantastic too. Sadly, she is no longer with us, but her legacy lives on)